Resources for Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month
Articles, mental health support, podcasts, organizations, and more for families experiencing miscarriage or stillbirth
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. My and Grant’s wedding anniversary, October 15, is also Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. Trust me, I’m aware! But an awareness month isn’t for me and other loss parents, it’s for family, friends, providers, and policymakers. It’s also a way to de-stigmatize pregnancy loss which occurs in more than 30 percent of pregnancies, and the stats are worse for Black women, who are 43 percent more likely to miscarry than white women.
After I had a stillbirth in April 2019, I started an editable Google Doc to keep track of articles, podcasts, and resources that helped me and that I thought could help anyone else going through this. I also referred to it after my miscarriage in August 2022. I had one link I could send to people who reached out to me, whether they had a miscarriage or knew someone who did. So I wanted to share those resources here, especially in lieu of any recent IVF updates from me.
Since this is from 2019/2020, some of these articles are pretty old, and I’m sure I’ve missed a lot of recent articles and resources. It’s sort of a time capsule of what was helping me right in that moment. I tend toward miscarriage/stillbirth, but there are many more types of loss I don’t feel confident to speak about such as ectopic, TFMR, SIDS, and infant death. If you have additional resources you think I should include, please reply directly to this email, email me at emilyhoward@substack.com, or comment on this article! Thank you 🫶🏼
My first link is a pretty comprehensive place to go for more information around miscarriage, sort of a landing page from New York Times Parenting called “How to Recognize Miscarriage Symptoms and Cope With the Aftermath.”
And they also provide a similar resource for stillbirth, “Understanding the Risks for Stillbirth, and Coping if It Happens to You.”
Articles
Miscarriage
After a Miscarriage, Grief, Anger, Envy, Relief and Guilt (NYT Gift Link)
“I Had a Miscarriage”: Three Women Share Their Stories (Cup of Jo)
If Miscarriage is So Normal, Why Doesn’t Anyone Talk About It? (Longreads)
Stillbirth
Stillbirth Resources Google Doc (VERY comprehensive! Whoever created or maintains this page deserves a Nobel Prize. The short link is tinyurl.com/infantloss which is easy to remember and share!)
After A Stillbirth, A Silent Delivery Room (NYT Gift Link, with video)
Dear tech companies, I don’t want to see pregnancy ads after my child was stillborn (Washington Post Gift Link)
Essays
Essay: Meghan McCain: What I Learned From My Miscarriage (NYT Gift Link)
Essay: Thanksgiving in Mongolia: Adventure and Heartbreak at the End of the Earth (The New Yorker)
Organizations
Star Legacy Foundation
Star Legacy Foundation provides education, supports research, offers family support, raises awareness, and encourages advocacy regarding pregnancy loss and neonatal death.
MIS Share
MIS Share (Miscarriage, Infant loss, and Stillbirth) is a parent-led support network founded in 1981 to offer information, support, and comfort to grieving parents who have experienced the death of their baby during pregnancy, or after birth.
Return to Zero
Return to Zero is a nonprofit that is engaging a global community of bereaved parents and their health providers to improve mental health outcomes, while also advancing pregnancy and infant loss awareness, education, and support.
Postpartum Support International
So many resources here. After a pregnancy loss, a woman is still postpartum. PSI’s purpose is “to increase awareness among public and professional communities about the emotional changes that women experience during pregnancy and postpartum.”
Hotline phone number: 1-800-944-4773
Postpartum Support Virginia
Provides more local support within Virginia, but I would bet that most if not all states have a similar resource.
Peer-led warmline phone number: (703) 829-7152
Tommy’s (UK)
Tommy’s is the largest UK charity researching the causes and prevention of pregnancy complications, miscarriage, stillbirth and premature birth. They also have a Miscarriage Support Tool for women and birthing people who have had 1 or more miscarriages. You’ll have to look up a UK postal code to use the tool, but you don’t have to give your email.
The Seleni Institute
The Seleni Institute is a global nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting the emotional health of individuals and families during the family building years in order to unlock the potential of future generations. More generally about therapy, but has some great pregnancy loss resources.
MISS Foundation
The MISS Foundation is an international 501(c)3, volunteer-based organization providing C.A.R.E.S. (counseling, advocacy, research, education and support) services to families experiencing the death of a child.
Podcasts/Video
1A from NPR:
When A Child Dies: Loss, Grief and Reclaiming Hope (This is Jayson Greene’s story about the loss of his daughter Greta. I also read his memoir and listened to any other podcast episodes with him that I could find, one is linked below)
Terrible, Thanks for Asking | This isn’t a pregnancy loss-specific podcast, but a loss/grief/sad-things-happen-to-people podcast that I really enjoy the format of and was able to jump around to different episodes I was in the mood for.
Specific episodes about pregnancy loss: A Henry Sky, Incompatible with Life
The Joyful Mourning Podcast | Pregnancy loss-specific; This podcast and website/FB community is Christian faith-based. I find the host’s voice very soothing. They seem to have rebranded to The Morning, and have a lot more resources since I listened to the podcast, which is great!
Specific episodes I like: Katelyn James, Molly Stillman, Kat Schmoyer, Lindsay Ostrom
Mom & Mind | Pregnancy/postpartum mental health podcast that has many episodes about loss.
Stillbirth Matters | A stillbirth-specific podcast from the Star Legacy Foundation, not too many episodes to go through.
Random podcast episodes about pregnancy loss or grief: Griefcast Episode 87: Jayson Greene; Death, Sex & Money: My Stillbirth During Anna’s Maternity Leave
You Are Not Alone: The High Cost of Miscarriage (Spectrum News NY1 Video)
Katelyn James’ Stillbirth story on YouTube:
Resources for Friends & Family
Katelyn James | Helping a Friend Through a Fatal Fetal Diagnosis & Stillbirth
Still Being Molly | 100 Ways to Support Someone After Miscarriage, Pregnancy Loss, Stillbirth or Infant Loss
What should I add? What would be helpful? I am working on a storefront for Bookshop.org that will have all my book recommendations for pregnancy loss, pregnancy, fertility, parenting, etc. so look for that in the coming issues!
As always, thank you for being here. Without further ado…
Think ravens have nothing in common with humans? THINK AGAIN. This week’s bird fact, c/o my dudes Derek and Bernd, is about the Common Raven (Corvus corax) because I just finished watching The Fall of the House of Usher on Netflix. Spooky!
Linguist Derek Bickerton, building on the work of biologist Bernd Heinrich, has argued that ravens are one of only four known animals (the others being bees, ants, and humans) who have demonstrated displacement, the capacity to communicate about objects or events that are distant in space or time.1
They also do cute things like go sledding in the snow for fun, and play games with sticks.2 Also, the current ravens at the Tower of London are named Jubilee, Harris, Poppy, Georgie, Edgar and Branwen.3 I COULD GO ON. I won’t, but I could.
If you have a suggestion for a bird fact, or if you have a bird you want me to look into, let me know!
This is awesome, thank you!! Can’t wait to start going through everything here. (Good timing, too, because I’m pretty sure I just finished everything miscarriage-related from the shelves at the library, lol)
Wow, thank you for this incredible resource. Like a lot of people, when in the thick of it, I devoured other people’s experiences and accounts to try to understand the contours of my own. In 2016, I had a surprise pregnancy (with an IUD that hadn’t failed!) that started as a “pregnancy of unknown location” and ended up being an ectopic on of all places, my spleen. I didn’t think I could be pregnant since odds are low with an IUD so I was already at the end of the first trimester when the baby was found. It was the mindfuck of my life and destroyed my already tenuous relationship with my body. Shortly after it happened, I randomly happened upon this essay and returned to it again and again like a prayer, and shared it with everyone who told me they were experiencing a loss.
https://www.thestranger.com/features/2016/04/27/24011632/what-i-gained-from-having-a-miscarriage
Angela Garbes is a treasure (her books are spectacular also). There is much I needed to hear in this essay, but one thing helped more than I expected. After her miscarriage, she goes on a spontaneous trip with her husband and after reading this idea decided to do something similar. We deeply grieved and also felt joy on a last-minute trip to New Orleans over Thanksgiving and it was one of the best things I’ve ever done, though I realize not everyone has this ability or that it’s right for everyone. I needed to be away. I needed a glimpse that the outside world was out there and that I might find my way back someday.
There also is a letter about miscarriage in Cheryl Strayed’s Tiny Beautiful Things that was a balm for the complicated feelings about my body that at the time no one in my immediate circle seemed to understand. She recommends Elizabeth McCracken’s memoir, which while a very different experience, gave voice to some of what I hadn’t been able to articulate. I am glad to see it is on the google doc for stillbirths.